Magic Numbers
My wife had the unmitigated temerity to have her purse
stolen last week (Tuesday). She knew about it immediately,
and she and I spent the rest of the day calling credit card
companies, credit agencies, government agencies, etc. about
it.
Luckily for us, not only was her driver’s license in
her purse, but her health insurance card was therein as
well. The insurance company used her Social Security Number
as its “Member Identification #”. When I heard
this, I immediately obliterated the same from my own
insurance card.
But we’re not finished yet. In addition to all that,
it turns out that our W-2 forms were in the purse as well.
My wife had them because it’s tax season.
Let’s see, what else. All the keys to our cars, post
office box, and house were in the purse. It cost us nearly
$1,000 to get all those locks changed. The biggie was the
new car that had a remote “keyless entry
system”. That was $460 by itself. The cheapest was
the post office box key: $10.
Less than one week later, I have a fresh batch of credit
cards. My wife has a new driver’s license. The locks
are all changed, and we haven’t been robbed again.
All is well, right?
Not quite.
My wife’s new driver’s license has the same
number as the purloined one. The state of Oregon will not
issue her a new license until she can prove someone has
committed fraud with it. In other words, we have to be
victimized a second time to get a new license number.
Turns out it’s the same with the Feds. This is from
the
Social Security
Administration website:
“Can
I Get A New Social Security Number?
If you can prove that you're being disadvantaged because
someone used your Social Security number, visit your local
Social Security office to request a new one. If you've done
all you can to fix the problem [what exactly, other than
changing the number can a citizen do?] and someone is still
using your number, under certain circumstances, we may
assign you a new number. We can't guarantee, however, that
a new number will solve your problem.
A new Social Security number will NOT be assigned if you --
[lots of irrelevant stuff]
have lost your Social Security card or it was stolen, but
there is no evidence that your number is being used by
someone and you are being disadvantaged by that use.”
I love that
word “disadvantaged”. That means victimized.
And since the number was stolen in the first place, that
means victimized for a second time.
Think about what this means for a moment. Your government
requires a victim to prostrate himself a second time before
a criminal before it will help.
In every citizen’s daily life, there are two numbers
that allow that citizen to function in this society. The
first is the driver’s license. Without this number,
you cannot use a check, buy a firearm, board an airplane,
check-in to a hotel, rent a car, or in many places, even
use a credit card.
Your Social Security Number is used by your employer,
credit agencies, Uncle Sam, and your state to keep track of
myriad data they feel compelled to keep track of.
We’ve all heard of identity theft, and how horrible
it is. Imagine my wife’s and my own prospect of
having double identity theft! It’s much more likely
to affect my wife, because of her lost license.
This is what the thief knows about us:
Full names,
Address,
Social Security numbers,
2 Checking accounts, and to whom the checks were written,
Employers (from W-2, remember?),
Kind of cars we drive,
Post Office Box Number (from W-2, again),
Income (W-2’s…),
Children’s names and school,
Wife’s maiden name,
Wife’s drivers license number,
And a dozen other things that we can’t remember right
now, or don’t want to reveal in this essay.
And how do we combat the (probably) imminent identity fraud
to come? Well, we call everybody that we do business with,
and let them know.
And with two exceptions, everybody we did business with
immediately changed all the account numbers and other magic
numbers that referred to us. Anybody attempting to use any
of the old magic numbers will not be able to do any damage
to them or to us.
What are the two exceptions? Well the State of Oregon, and
the US Government, of course. And the fact that their magic
numbers are the “gateway” or
“enabling” numbers; the most magical numbers of
all, matters not one whit to them.
The fact that my wife and I have the Sword of Damocles
hanging over our heads waiting to be victimized again
doesn’t concern them. Why is that? Well, I can think
of lots of reasons, none of them very satisfying. These
reasons run the gamut from causing the poor bureaucrats the
nuisance of making them come up with new magic numbers, and
sending them to us;to the more sinister vision of
hysterical hyaenic laughter of those same bureaucrats
relating their stories of taxpayer expectations of service
from them over coffee.
But the real reason is really much simpler, and perhaps
less satisfying. It is nevertheless accurate: a government
has absolutely no financial or personal stake whatever in
the outcome.
I related earlier how quickly the businesses reacted to our
theft. In literally minutes, these businesses had protected
themselves (and their stockholders, and their customers)
from further harm. We received replacement magic numbers
(credit cards with numbers affixed) in less than 18 hours.
And none charged us one dime.
But a government has no financial stake. They cannot be
sued for incompetence. And even if they were, the
incompetent employees would not be affected. The collection
of tribute – I mean taxes- continues. If
they’re lucky, maybe several people will use the same
number and the government can collect even more taxes.
(Notice in the above statements from the Social Security
Administration website that it didn’t matter if
someone was using your number. You had to prove that it
harmed you in some way. So if Manuel or Vladimir are using
your numbers – and paying into the system –
you’re not being disadvantaged, so why do you care?
Of course in the future, if several people try to obtain
benefits, the confusion will be complete as several people
all shout that they have been paying on that number for
years!)
They can’t be bothered to key in a new computer
generated magic number. Not until you have been victimized
at least twice. And by god you had better have proof of
your second victimization!
So now my wife and I have to continually query the credit
agencies for the foreseeable future, combing each
transaction. We have to wonder if we will receive our W2
forms, because someone else may have set up shop somewhere,
using our numbers. We’re already screwed on this
year’s returns, because we couldn’t send in the
W2’s. Filing an extension cost us several hundred
more dollars from our accountant.
We have to wait for the sword to swing – and stop our
lives. All because of a government that forces us to have
numbers – but refuses to change them if these same
numbers are stolen. Who again benefits from these magic
numbers? Certainly not a victim of identity theft.
The dirty little secret here is that identity theft is
aided and encouraged by the system put in place by
government. Was this intentional? I doubt it. But the
problem would be much smaller if government policy allowed
people to change their numbers after theft – instead
of forcing victims to be hurt again and again.
These numbers have become “virtual tattoos”
– and just as hard to get rid of or change as a real
tattoo. Who needs the “Mark of the Beast”, when
we have government required magic numbers? Doesn’t
the English version of the Christian Bible say something
about the mark being “in the forehead”? Maybe
there’s more to that than I thought.
Copyright © 2001 by Neil Alexander